


who else to blame?

by stayfrosty_royalmilktea



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Andy is such a mother in this fic IM IN LOVE W ONE MAN, Angst, Bisexual Patrick Stump, Bisexuality, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, I Just Really Love Pete Wentz, I hope you all like it ahhh, I've written more than like 600 words for a chapter its crazy, Joe is my fav sassy bitch, M/M, Members of Fall Out Boy, News Media, Pete needs a hug or two, Peterick, Pre-Hiatus (Fall Out Boy), Self-Discovery, Smut, So does Patrick, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-11 13:47:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17448152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stayfrosty_royalmilktea/pseuds/stayfrosty_royalmilktea
Summary: After love note to Patrick goes viral Patrick has absolutely no idea what to do, especially since the person claiming to have wrote the love letter is his fellow band-mate Pete Wentz.





	1. for my dearest, who i can never really love,

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you all enjoy this! I didn't realise how nervous I'd be posting it, considering I've worked on this fanfic for a while now!

pete wentz (noonewhomatters) wrote,  
2007-01-18 23:02:00

## for my dearest, who i can never really love,

I’ve been going back and forth on writing this. I’ve rewritten this about 5 different times these past few days. But I really can’t take it anymore, it’s driving me crazy. It burns my skin and I feel this tremendous amount of guilt thinking of your potential exasperation and terror. 

You’re my band-mate, my other half. Patrick, I really cannot lie anymore. I feel like im suffocating, obviously it’s nothing too new but I still hate the idea of you never wanting to talk to me again. This might just do us to the end, huh?

So, heres to all the moments we’ve had while I can still think about them fondly. The nights we’ve gotten drunk, to the nights ive cried in your arms and the nights we’ve fought. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, really. 

I wouldn’t trade to do any of those things with any other person in this entire world, ever. I’m going to be truly honest, gravely honest, as I’m not expecting this to go well. I’m expecting you to do the thing you do when you freak and just shut down, im so fucking sorry. Everyones going to hate me over this, I can sense it. You are far too good for me.

I love you, I really do. I didn’t realize it up until now, and I freaked whenever I thought about it. I would start to shake, and I wouldn’t be able to breathe properly. Writing this out is a task for me, my hands are trembling and I have to erase so many mistakes ( I guess this whole declaration letter counts as a mistake, huh? ) I truly hope you can fathom to understand that I didn’t tell you face to face. Its so fucking shitty, but what else to expect? Who else to blame for your problems? Its always me. Just know that Im not expecting to get over the way I love you like I do. It’s gone on far too long for this to be a crush, a little obsession, fuck, I thought I was straight! 

So Patrick, if you’re reading this (which im sure you’ll have to be in the next 12 hours after posting this, at least). I love you and im so sorry for the whole of it. Youre the best thing to come into my life thus far.  
love you  
xxoo

Patrick widened his eyes in shock and three tiny words looped in his thought-filled mind.  
what. the. fuck.


	2. the aftermath of the party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all enjoying this! I really wanted to post this chapter but I will try to keep larger spaces between posting. Thanks for reading! Any feedback would be appreciated <3 my tumblr is stayfrosty-royalmilktea if you would like to chat and follow also!

It took about a millisecond after Patrick picked up his phone for it to start ringing. After flipping it open, he heard a panicked voice on the other side of the receiver. 

“Patrick, oh my god. The person who posted that was not me! I swear-”  


“Really Pete? Whoever it was sounded a hell of a lot like you! Crying in my arms? Really?!” Patrick was trying his hardest to keep calm, but his breath was quickening and the blood rushing to his head made him feel woozy.  


“Patrick, do you know the possibilities? It could be a fan trying to live out their fantasies, or a reporter looking for a good news story! It isn’t even my LiveJournal account and some parts are so vague they can be interpreted as anything.” Patrick heard a shuffle and Pete cleared his throat. 

“I’m expecting you to do the thing you do when you freak and just shut down,” Pete was obviously uncomfortable reading this aloud and he continued.  
“Anyone can do a thing where they freak and shut down! It goes into no specifics and are just assumptions. I would never do anything like this to you, I love you-but not in that way.” Pete took a deep breath after saying these words, anticipating a response from a now silent Patrick.

Patrick started to compose himself, finally seeing the world accurately and not as a labyrinth of blurred lines and unmistakably brash lights around his room. What Pete was saying made sense, but the myriads of notifications from his now-open laptop that covered his screen distracted him. An article already popped up after typing his name and Pete’s.  


“Okay… I believe you. But I really do need to recover, can I call you later, please?” Patrick sheepishly said.  


Pete sighed in relief, “Yes, that’s okay. Just maybe don’t go on the internet for a while, please? I’ll see you soon, bye.” Pete hung up the phone before Patrick could, but it was already too late, Patrick saw a title from a well-known gossip site and decided to click the link.

## “LUCRATIVE LOVERS PETE WENTZ AND PATRICK STUMP SHOCK THE INDUSTRY!”

“A Romance that is Unexpected and possibly Artificial? by **Lindsay H. Greer** Janurary 19 2007 

Just mere hours ago, Fall Out Boy’s self-proclaimed ‘front-man’ Pete Wentz seemed to have confessed his love on a _LiveJournal_ account (Link Here). Though there has been some speculation that the article was not written by him, many adamant fans seem to believe that Wentz is behind the account “ ** _noonewhomatters_**

User **_anathema_brightside_** says: “Though it wasn’t posted on Pete’s account, it sounds exactly like Pete and how he talks! I’ve been a Fall Out Boy fan for years now and it makes total sense that he’d make a new account to keep the possibility of saying it’s fake if Patrick rejected him, I have every reason to believe this is true!” Many concurred with this opinion, with dozens of edits of the two popping up around the internet, people coining their ship name (the act of combining two peoples’ names together who may have romantic intentions) “Peterick”. 

But is this declaration-of-love too unexpected and rushed? With the launch of their third studio album “Infinity On High” in just over a month, people believe this romance to be purely revenue-based. Though the gay and lesbian communities have applauded Wentz on his unabashed declaration and many calling him courageous for his “coming out”, his sexuality has always been left ambiguous, with his modern emo-rocker glam-esque style breaking mainstream ideals of how men in the pop-punk industry should dress and ultimately even act. Though many consider his metrosexual show problematic and his rumored standoffish attitude impolite. We were lucky enough to get an insider stand-point on this latest gay love scandal. 

“I personally do believe this romantic relationship is merely one-sided.” An anonymous member of Fall Out Boy’s life stated. “From what I saw, it never seemed any more than child’s play, it was obvious that Pete was all over him, perhaps a crush, but it was never reciprocated by Patrick. I could never see what Pete could see in Patrick, though. Pete could probably get anyone he wanted, but he chose Patrick, so I don’t know what’s going on there.” the insider concluded.

It is common knowledge that Wentz is known as an eligible, attractive bachelor, and his looks never seemed to stop him from getting who he wanted. Patrick is the anti-social lead singer of Fall Out Boy. “The living antonym of what any lead singer should be”, people consider. And if what we have heard is true, we don’t see why Wentz couldn’t have gone for someone who was perhaps less shy and more… conventionally attractive than Stump. Either way, it has taken the pop-culture-frenzied world by storm and we have yet to receive a statement from the two.”

Patrick stared at his screen, a plethora of emotions coursing through his body; feelings like confusion, hurt, disgust and frustration. It never seemed like it would end. Was he not worthy enough to be with someone like Pete? He never viewed himself as exactly hot-stuff, but to see this reporter and “insider” show their shock of why Pete would even consider liking Patrick, he felt his face go hot and his eyes start to well up. Who would even do this? What was the point of making this whole idea up? To say it was you who caused such destruction in another person’s life? Patrick clutched his pillow and yelled, letting his emotional baggage pour out of him like a sad, annoying waterfall.

He picked up his phone and dialed Pete’s number, containing his hurt after thinking of Pete. What is he going through? He thought. That article called him many distasteful names and accused him of numerous things. He was publicly outed as someone he is not, Patrick wasn’t so exposed to the world right now, Pete was.

“Pete, are you okay? I’ve read some stuff and Jesus, people are tearing you to shreds!” Patrick was angry now, they don’t know Pete! These people were so shallow.  


“Yeah, I’m just freaking out right now. I’m writing a statement to post to my LiveJournal. I really didn’t write it, Trick.” Pete sounded exhausted.  


“I know you didn’t. God, people suck, don’t they? The shit people have said about you-“  


Patrick was interrupted, “You didn’t read that horrendous article, did you?! Cmon, I told you not to, they called you so many disgusting things, and accused us of monetizing a fake relationship we aren’t even a part of!” Pete was getting annoyed now, Patrick could tell with the edgier tone in his voice. “I’m just so sick of this, I’m going to have to explain everything and tell my parents that I didn’t come out online and I’m not in love with you, shit.” 

 

Pete lay on his bed with his sidekick and phone nearby with Patrick venting more on the phone. He bit his lip and wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with Patrick and it surprisingly wasn’t much different to how they were now. Flustered, Pete hung up the phone and promised he’d have his announcement written out by tonight, but he couldn’t push those thoughts of Patrick out of his head.


	3. unbelievably fucked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh im definitely getting impatient with uploading all these chapters rip but i do hope you all like this series! <3

Pete jolted upright and his eye’s darted open after remembering the blog-post he made last night, desperately hoping yesterday was some type of nightmare. He scrambled to get his laptop open, groggy and slightly dizzy after all the sudden movement. He scrolled to his post and read a few comments he had seen, all ranging from disappointment to relief.

_“Awh, I was really hoping that it was true :( <3 Peterick” _  
_“So, I guess Pete’s gone back on his word now, huh?”_  
_“Oh thank god, them being together would’ve completely ruined the band.”_

Pete tried to shake off his sudden anger with the last comment and rang Joe after seeing the numerous missed calls by him. He hadn’t talked to him or Andy since the whole scandal came around, he didn’t know what to expect.

Joe picked up on the first ring. “Pete, hey dude, are you okay? I just talked to Patrick and I was hoping I could come around with Andy and uh, you know, chat, get some pizza.” Joe was obviously hesitant with making the last comment, it was clear he wasn’t sure how Pete would react.  


“Oh, yeah… I guess I’m alright. Yesterday was a fucking nightmare, I couldn’t believe it happened. When I rang Patrick, I could tell he was freaking the hell out. I think I’ll be fine. Is Andy with you?” Pete felt slightly numb inside saying these words, he wasn’t sure if he was even being honest.  


“Yeah, he is.” Pete heard the movement of the phone and then heard the drummer’s familiar voice. “Hey, listen. We’re currently trying to get some of the blog posts down. Some of the shit is complete defamation, absolute bullshit.” Andy never often swore, so it surprised Pete a lot.  


“You guys don’t have to do that, thank you…” but Pete thought about it for a second. Why were they trying so hard to take it down? How much would it even matter to them if it were true? Suddenly he wasn’t so sure on if his friends were so accepting, now that it was him who was thought to be bi, gay, whatever-the-fuck. 

“Why are you two so adamant on taking it all down? How would you even feel if it were all true? Disgusted?” Pete felt bitter as he spat out these words, hearing a short silence through the receiver.  


“No, of course not Pete! Dude, what the hell!” It was Joe now, “Why the hell would we think that? We were taking it down because Patrick asked to, and we assumed you’d want all of it down as well. What’s up with you?” Joe’s tone was defensive, and he really knew that Andy and Joe would be fine if it was true. Pete took a deep breath and tried to recover from his unnecessary and futile comment.  


“Wow… I’m sorry, I don’t know what made me so snappy. It’s just been a shit day, I really didn’t mean anything by it.” Pete shook his head, frustrated with himself.

“Its fine, we know you’re probably not feeling so good. I suggest just keeping on the down-low and recovering while you still have time. We have heaps of stuff to do with album promotions pretty soon.” Andy explained, “We hope you feel better soon, if you need us, we’re right here.”  
“Alright, thanks guys. I’ll talk later, hopefully.” Pete tried his best to not sound like a sad sack-of-shit when talking. Joe and Andy said their goodbyes and Pete laid down on his bed. Annoyed and feeling disordered. 

Joe’s words repeated in Pete’s mind. “What’s up with you?”. Pete had no clue on why he was feeling so attacked when they were taking down the posts. What was it that got under his skin? Abruptly, his thoughts shifted back onto the concept of dating Patrick and he started breathing heavily. Was it that? Was he really interested in men? There were a few times in high-school and college where he made out with a few guys on a dare or just to try it. He’d never really considered being in a serious relationship with a man before, but right now it was all he could think about. It didn’t take him too long to make a decision and completely go against Andy’s words after devising a plan (which was perhaps one of his most ill-fated decisions to date). If he was going to find out if he liked guys, he might as well get some firsthand experience.

 

The EDM music blared in Pete’s ears as he sat sluggishly on an uncomfortable stool, leaning on a neon bar. He kept his hat slightly crooked as he scanned the area, looking at the heaping pile of men drunkenly dancing and a gaggle of drunk blonde girl’s giggling as if they’d never seen so many gay guys in one place before. They probably hadn’t, as Pete sure as hell he hadn’t either. It wasn’t exactly what he had been expecting. He’d just been sitting there, ordering drinks for a loser-ish amount of time. He downed his last glass and stood up, looking around at the profuse amount of flashing lights and the taller men now surrounding him, he felt his shoulder jolt to one side as a man bumped into him. 

Pete’s eyes dashed up to see the figure he had collided with. He was a young guy, probably around Patrick’s age. He had light hair (Pete could not determine the exact colour, mostly because the multi-coloured lights that suffocated the club) and brown round eyes. He smiled at him.  


“Hi, I’m Noah.” Noah didn’t bother asking for Pete’s name, Pete could tell he already knew who he was.  


“Hey Noah, Pete.” Pete attempted to shake hands, but one of the blonde drunk girls ran into Noah, frivolously apologising then squeezing through the two to get to the bar. Noah light-heartedly laughed.  


“What brings you here? You just here for the laughs or are you genuinely looking for something?” Well, that was quick. Pete was slightly tipsy, and he didn’t really know what to say. He was inexperienced, to say the least.  


“Honestly? I’ve got no fucking clue.” Pete laughed, regretting the trivial comment almost instantly.  


“Well, is there anything that made you want to come here, an impulse decision? A realization, maybe?” Noah questioned.  


“Yeah, actually. I’ve just been confused as fuck and too wrapped up in what people think about me. I don’t give a shit anymore really. I’ll just do what I want.” Pete’s unexpected feeling of frustration thinking of these words sobered him a little.  


“I feel the same way, too. I think just letting go a bit of that anxiety on what people think about you is exactly what everyone needs to do at some point. You seem like a cool guy, Pete.” Noah was closer now, and Pete was starting to feel a heat build up in his cheeks. 

It didn’t take long for the two to leave the club and venture through the streets of Los Angeles.

 

Even at ungodly hours of the morning, Patrick was blasting Elvis Costello through his headphones. No matter how hard he tried to sleep last night, he couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of unease that rushed through him. Even though the issue was all sorted out, he didn’t really know why he still had an unresolved issue apparent inside of him. He considered the possibility that there were still articles debating him and Pete’s sexuality. He opened his laptop and found an old tab, refreshing to see if anything new popped up.

It took a few scrolls down the page to see a link Patrick hadn’t recognized and saw that it was uploaded recently. After clicking on the site, Patrick’s jaw dropped to the ground. He saw a paparazzi picture, located in West Hollywood, but that wasn’t the part that was interesting to him. It was the fact that Pete was just finished stumbling out of a bar. He had his arm around an attractive man, his head leaning on his shoulder, and he was smirking at him.

#### “PERHAPS PETEY DIDN’T TELL US THE WHOLE TRUTH…”

“It seems that not even two days after the ‘fake’ love letter directed at Patrick Stump, Pete Wentz has been found in one of West Hollywood’s most popular gay bars in the arms of a mysterious man. The images were taken late last night, with many onlookers saying they recognized Wentz at the club, _Flaming Micks_. Does this mean Stump and Wentz are going through some rocky waters or is perhaps this the beginning of the end of Wentz’s integrity?”

Anger sparked through Patrick’s body as he thought ‘What had Pete gotten himself into now?’


	4. covetous hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> half way through the fic now! I hope you're all enjoying it.

If looks could kill, well, you know the saying.

The humming of the engine and the tune on the radio kept the car from experiencing an awkward silence. With Patrick riding shot-gun and Pete being in the back-seat with Andy, you could tell the two weren’t exactly _besties_ with the eye-daggers and hurried looks at one another. Andy was drumming along to the radio tune with his hands and Joe was concentrating on the road, obviously not wanting to get in the middle of the two.

Patrick wanted nothing more than to give Pete a piece of his mind. What the hell was he thinking? “Oh, wait a second, let me clarify rumours and by the time night rolls around I’ll be fucking some random guy!” He thought. He wasn’t helping Patrick’s case either. It pissed him off seeing Pete with some random guy, he’d seen it with girls constantly, but something about this just grinded his gears.

After a few more minutes of silence, the group arrived at the studio. Promotions for their album were really hitting in hard now, as they were announcing something very special to do with the date of the release. Patrick wasn’t exactly in the mood to talk to some tan, blonde woman sporting her best (and fakest) pan am smile.  
As they walked to the entrance of the interview room the set workers flashed Patrick a quick smile, Patrick unwillingly flashed one back. It was at this moment Patrick overheard Pete making small-talk with a young sound tech, not long after she finished laughing, Pete explained…

“Yeah, these past few days have been all over the place, you know? Some people who I really thought were great are just ignoring me for no reason.” Patrick glared at him.

“Maybe its jealousy?” The young sound tech said. Pete nodded his head in agreement.

“You know what? Yeah, that’s it! Some people get a bit irked when the attention isn’t on them anymore…” 

That was it, Patrick bounded over to Pete and mustered up as much politeness as he could.

“Pete, may I speak to you for a moment?” Coughing after finishing the sentence. Pete just looked at him, giving him a grin. The sound tech waved. Patrick dragged Pete to a corner of the room and spoke in a hushed voice.

“What has been up with you lately? It’s like every day you’re giving me some sly comment or a glare. What’s gotten into you?” 

“What’s gotten into _me_?!” Pete retorted, “What about what’s gotten into _you_? You’re the one who ignored me in the first place, I did absolutely nothing to you!” 

“I wonder why,” Patrick scoffed, “It’s not like you’ve been thinking up the wisest decisions lately. You haven’t helped yourself, me or even Andy and Joe! If you keep it up, we’re all going to look like fools.”

“Oh, please do tell me what these unwise decisions are. I’m dying to know.” Pete snapped.

“You go against what you said not even 24 hours earlier. I’m straight but I might as well go fuck some random guy I met at a gay club!” Pete recoiled and went quiet after Patrick spat these words.

“Since when were you one to believe what the tabloids said? You actively tried getting that shit taken down and you say that? Unbelievable!”

“1 minute, guys” A man dressed in black shuffled over to the two and said. Pete and Patrick glowered at each other, it was evident Pete wasn’t finished yet. 

“Not that it’s any of your business, but the guy and I didn’t even do anything! I thought something was going to happen, but it didn’t. He could tell I wasn’t feeling it. So please say what you just said to me again, in fact, say it to all of fucking America! I dare you.” Pete turned around and waited at the door, tapping his foot impatiently. With a few seconds to go, the band walked into the interview room and sat timidly on their stools, with Patrick and Pete as far away from each other as possible.

The band took a deep breath as the camera’s started to roll. The interviewers bright smile contrasted with Patrick’s irritated half-frown. 

“I’m here with Andy, Patrick, Pete and Joe from Grammy award nominated rock band Fall Out Boy!” The camera’s zoomed into their faces and Patrick felt very self-conscious all of a sudden.  
“Now, with your third studio album coming out just under next month, what are you all planning on doing? Is there a special event to celebrate the launch? With singles like ‘Thnks Fr Th Mmrs’ and ‘This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race’, newcomers and die-hard fans around the globe are bursting to hear what else you have in store.

Pete chimed in, “Yeah! It’s great hearing all the support we’ve been getting recently with this album. We are actually planning on doing something pretty big. On the date of the album’s release, February 6th, we’re going to be doing 3 shows all in New York, Chicago and Los Angeles in just one day. It’s probably going to end up with us dying of exhaustion, but it’ll be fun.”

It was a cold reminder seeing how quickly Pete could turn on a completely different face. He was still rigid, but his casual tone help masked his aggravated demeanor.

“I’m sure it’s going to be very exciting!” The interviewer said, “Was the record hard to make? And what made you use more RnB-esque qualities?”

“I think it was mostly because some of the stuff I listened to,” Pete continued, “Lil Wayne specifically was always so great to me, especially his lyrics. And though we aren’t allowed to say much, we have a very great guy who recorded something for us on the opening track.” 

“We found this record somewhat hard to make. It wasn’t exactly a far-cry from our old stuff per se, but some songs are really quite different from each other which made things a bit of a challenge with trying to make it all, well, have the same vibe.” Joe stated.

“I see! Though working with people like Babyface I’m sure helped introduce some of those elements into your songs, I’m assuming?” Patrick understood she was an interviewer, but the empty responses seemed pointless.

“It did, actually!” Pete took over once again, “He and Neal were huge helps throughout the whole process. We felt more guided and secure.”

“What about you, Patrick? Is there anything during or even after the album’s production that made things more difficult for you?” 

Great. Patrick hated when interviewers did this.

“Oh, not necessarily. Experimenting with my voice made things a bit of a challenge,” Patrick tried stopping himself from saying it, “but I think mostly it’s just been stressful preparing for the launch day concerts, especially with people who don’t wanna make it manageable.” Yikes, he said it. He heard Pete shuffle around on his stool, serves him right. He was a stool.

Pete hurried in before the interviewer could say anything. “I agree, actually. I think it’d be ignorant to not address the elephant in the room, if that’s the right saying for the situation.” Patrick felt Andy tense up next to him. “Recent events have led to a lot of distasteful and false media coverage, which we’ll get over, as you do, but it seems to make people want more after they’ve had a taste-“

“Yeah, but overall the fans seem to drown that stuff out. We’re really grateful for them, they make life a lot happier and easier.” Joe interrupted Pete, stopping him from digging himself a grave.

“That’s really great!” You could tell she was confused by what had just went down. She saw the tech guys waving cut. “I’m afraid that’s all the time we have today, but it was lovely talking to you guys! We’re all very excited to hear the album.” She continued with promoting the show and they finally left, being able to relax after leaving the room. 

“Seriously Pete? We were on live television! You can’t just say that.” Joe rubbed his temple.

“Well, I’m sorry, maybe you should tell Patrick to not start it!” Pete argued back.

“We aren’t 5-year old’s anymore Pete! Stop trying to get back at each other, for Christ’s sake!” Joe started walking back to the car, and soon Andy and Patrick followed suit.

 

The alcohol and smoke-hybrid fumes invaded the air of Joe’s apartment, the four (plus Chris, arguably the bands closest friend) were attempting to rekindle whatever normality they had before and in Pete’s opinion, alcohol was the way to do it. He’d already had a few drinks, which caused him to feel airier, with a slight buzz radiating around his body. He was giggly and felt as if the past few days had not even existed, it was fantastic. 

“Right, I’ll go get some more drinks.” Chris stood up from the unusually low lounge chair and walked into the kitchen.

Pete was staring at Patrick for what seemed a socially unacceptable amount of time, but not in the way he was hours earlier. He noticed his piercing blue eyes that juxtaposed his pale skin and his sheepish way of grinning. He had a nice face, like a really nice one. Why had he even bothered being mad at Patrick? Maybe he’d forgive him.

It wasn’t long after that thought that Pete found himself leaning into Patrick, which was considerably harder than he thought as they were not as close to each other as they usually were. His lips hurriedly pressed against Patrick’s and he felt his heart reach his throat, which complimented the mini fireworks that went off in his stomach, Pete pulled away before Patrick could react. It was now that he realised the look on Patrick’s face was bewilderment, with his perfect lips in an “O” shape. There was a dead silence that engulfed the room. 

Pete spluttered, looking at Andy and Joe’s baffled faces. He tried to speak but no words seemed to escape his mouth, it took less than 20 seconds for Pete to have picked his stuff up and rush out the living room, calling a cab for him to pick him up as soon as possible. He couldn’t believe that had just happened.  
He heard Chris’ voice from the living room, which halted the long silence emitting the house.

“What the fuck was that?!”


	5. you could cut it with a knife

“Okay, what the hell was that?! Have you got arthritis or something, Pete? Cause it doesn’t look like your hands are working right now!” Joe was pissed, band practices lately were not working out to their advantage, like at all. With Patrick and Pete still feuding with one another after the night of the interview, they were getting nothing done. Patrick was forgetting lyrics, Joe was butchering his guitar riffs, Pete was out-of-time with the drums and Andy was starting either too early or late. Everything was in shambles.

“Alright, Doldrums one more time and if we get it somewhat right, we’ll finish there and come back tomorrow.” Joe stated, it only took the first chorus for Patrick to be a whole line ahead of everyone else.

“Jesus, fuck!” Patrick swore, he was getting agitated and had kicked the nearest object closest to him. “What the hell is wrong with us? We haven’t been this bad since we first started.” He huffed and sat down, frowning.

“You’re the one who was out-of-time then, not us.” Pete said, putting down his bass.

“Oh, and you weren’t the previous 1000 times? Don’t blame this on me.” Patrick scowled. “Get over yourself, Mr High-and-Mighty”.

“Well fuck you too then! You’re the one who’s jealous of me and everything I do! You believe what the fake articles say when it benefits you, hypocrite.” Pete was in Patrick’s face now, only a few inches taller. 

“You went there with that intention! You admitted it to me, that stuffs easy for you, isn’t it? You and your perfect brown eyes and face! You can go fuck whoever you want!” Patrick was riled up now, seeing splotches of red around the musty room. 

“Okay, calm the hell down.” Andy wedged himself between the two. “Let’s just go home. Joe, can you drive Pete back to his place? I’ll take Patrick home.” Before Patrick knew it, he was in Andy’s old Sedan.  
“So, you wanna talk about it?” Andy said, his tenor calm and reassuring.

“Uh, I guess so.” Patrick shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know what’s gotten into Pete lately, first he treats me like a piece of garbage, then he kisses me and finally calls me a hypocrite!” 

“Yeah, it’s confusing. You probably won’t like me saying this, but you’re also riling him up as well. Though he definitely started it that time.” Andy was soft spoken.

“Seriously?! You’re going to-… well, I guess you’re right.” Patrick admitted, holding the bridge of his nose and emitting a deep sigh. He had a massive headache.

“You guys need to have a serious chat, no fighting or raised voices, just an adult conversation.” Andy continued, “I also think you need to have a long think about… uh, some of the stuff you said back there and why.” Patrick was confused, why would he need to think about that at all? Andy was tapping on the wheel, anticipating Patrick’s response.

“Though I don’t see the point in doing the latter, I should probably admit that you’re likely right and I’ll thank you later for it.” Andy smiled and gave him a pat on the back. Patrick realised now that Andy was parked in front of his apartment complex. He bid Andy a farewell and eventually got into his apartment and ultimately, his bed. 

He pondered what Andy meant by thinking of what he said during the argument. Soon after recollecting his memories, he knew exactly what he meant. Did he just call Pete’s eyes and face perfect? What the hell. He’d always thought of Pete as attractive, hell, everyone did; but he never really called him gorgeous or perfect or whatever. This led Patrick to recall the feeling he felt when he saw that blog-post on Pete stumbling out of that club, it was like a trillion needles pinning into his heart with his blood raising in temperature. More importantly than that, the feeling he felt when Pete had kissed him. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was the strangest feeling he’d probably ever felt in his whole life. His heart somersaulted and man, Pete’s lips were surprisingly soft. 

Patrick didn’t want to believe it, but it seemed it was the only reasonable idea. Patrick… liked Pete. Though it must be some silly type of crush, right? Nothing serious, he hadn’t even liked a guy before in his life, well that he was aware of, anyway. When he was younger, he thought he could only be straight or gay. It wasn’t until he’d started high school and ventured into the local Chicago music scene that he grasped the concept of liking both guys and girls. He’d expected all dudes who screamed for a living and wore black all the time to be as straight as possible, that was where he was wrong. He knew Pete toyed around with the idea of being with a guy, but ultimately classified as straight. But the thought of Pete liking guys seemed to make Patrick’s heart beat significantly faster.

He couldn’t believe it, he hoped he’d maybe been dreaming. Because the one life-bending sentence that crossed his mind right now was that Patrick was in love with Pete Wentz. Patrick opened his laptop, he needed to vent and possibly get some advice, and a secret LiveJournal account seemed to be the best option. He typed down the first words to emerge from his mind.

patrick (theultimatepariah) wrote,   
2007-01-29 19:45:00

## I’m in love with my best friend, I think.

Of all the things I expected to be doing right now, sitting under my bed quilt writing a kinda maybe love letter to my best friend was the last thing to cross my mind, in fact, it hadn’t crossed my mind at all. As a random person on the internet, I’m not expecting this to go anywhere. It is merely just a place to vent, though venting online to millions of random people is a terrible idea. So, you, random person. Hi. I might as well start from the beginning.

It was all just something for the people to think about for a few days, a rouse. And it worked, for about half a day. With things slightly back to normal, I finally could breathe, until the world decided to punch me in the stomach, again. I saw my friend, someone who I thought I loved (platonically, at the time, anyway) with another person. It bothered me, more than it ever had before. I was dealing with this troublesome demon inside of me and I hated every moment of it. Words swirled around in my head. “Fat, pasty, excruciatingly introverted.” My self-confidence hit a new low, and I used that new low to hurt that friend, and I’m not proud of it.

Don’t get me wrong, the fighting wasn’t one sided. It seemed we both had it out for each other, constantly bickering and hurting others around us bothered me; but I had to keep up the act as I wasn’t willing to hurt my pride, stupid, I know. Today sucked, and I hate admitting it to myself because I’ve got something really important coming up and I can’t afford to suck.

Signs kept building up, and a friend who witnessed basically all of it helped me come to this profound realization. I’m terrified, and I have no clue on what to do about it. I just wish that this would all go away, but that isn’t how the world works. I can barely type of the L word, how am I supposed to admit it to them? This might ruin our friendship permanently which I don’t think I could take. We’re kinda each other’s halves. 

Advice?

p.

Patrick hit post and shut his laptop, burying himself under all his covers and doing everything in his power to filter out his doubtful, unhappy thoughts.


	6. quitters never win

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super appreciative of the kudos and comments! thank you x

anna (Xx_bestkeptsecret_xX) wrote,  
2007-02-03 14:22:00

## I’m worried that Pete and Patrick aren’t friends anymore.

Hey guys, usually I try not to pry into the guys’ personal business as I respect their privacy but lately, I’ve been super worried. I don’t know if it’s just me that’s been noticing this (comment if you have, I wanna discuss it) but I feel like Patrick and Pete have grown more distant, from what I can tell with interviews and such. : ( 

It was ever since that untrue blog post (which fans have been trying to find out who posted for a while), maybe it seriously spooked them out for one reason or another. I seriously wouldn’t mind if the two were actually in a relationship and were hiding it, but it just seems as if they hate each other now. Whenever they’re doing interviews or photo-shoots they seem to be as far away from each other as possible, which is so different from how things were originally. Not to mention Pete going to that gay club in West Hollywood. 

That interview they did with that morning show was… interesting. I recorded it thankfully and I’ve been watching it back, Pete mentioned someone was just trying to hoard all the attention for themselves? If this is really about Patrick then that’s just so out-of-character, I can’t even imagine Patrick WANTING to be the centre of attention… Pete seemed really douchey, as much as I love him.

I dunno, I’m actually going to the New York show in 3 days (as I previously stated on my last post) and I hope it’s not called off as I’ve been freaking about seeing them for the first time! I just hope the guys are alright. like I said before, if you’ve noticed anything, I’d like to talk about it and eventually come to a conclusion of sorts. I’ve actually got an edit and a Peterick fic with lots of lemons in it coming up, so be ready ; ). 

X-X ANNA

 

Pete finished reading the fan’s post and he exhaled, hoping that somehow, he could just maybe breathe the heartache and frustration out of his thought-filled, muddled mind. Though Joe had left the day before the last, he was taking into account the words he told him. For a relatively chill guy, he was pretty wise, though he probably should’ve known that by now. He stared at his bottle of Ativan, located in the open drawer of his night stand. It seemed life was actually getting back on track before this all just happened. A conundrum of bad choices and unknown endings. 

Yesterday was a lot better than its predecessor. It seemed the discussions they had with each other helped break the underlying tension that had stuck to the band. The songs were all in-time and Patrick’s vocals were strong, with Joe nailing guitar riff after guitar riff. Pete felt a rush of blood to his head when he practised songs from their previous album, semi-fresh memories arriving out of nowhere. Patrick still had not really bothered to acknowledge Pete, besides the occasional glance and hasty look away, he seemed more intimidated for a reason unbeknownst to Pete.

Pete had been scribbling down lyrics in an old notebook he found in his jacket pocket when a person knocked on Pete’s door. It was quite a shock seeing Patrick Stump on his front porch, his head considerably inches below the door’s full height. Pete only heard the faint sound of Patrick scratching his nails and cars driving past before Patrick finally spoke.

“Listen… I uh, didn’t really plan what I was going to say so… I just wanted you to know that...” Patrick’s voice died off mid-sentence, he was clearly hesitant in what he was going to say, maybe he didn’t want to hurt Pete’s feelings, it was then that Pete felt he knew what Patrick meant.

“I lo-“  
“You want to take a break from each other, right?”

Patrick felt as if he had been hit with a mallet, specifically a wooden one that left huge fucking splinters throughout his aorta. He shouldn’t have got his hopes up.

Pete continued. “I mean as in, like a friendship break. I can tell you aren’t happy, Trick. Joe talked to me yesterday and I understand how much of an asshole I was, some fans think that too. I can understand why you don’t really want to talk to me.”  
Patrick tried to contain the feeling of painful numbness that erupted inside of him and smiled.

“What was it that you were going to say?” Pete questioned, “I lo?-“ 

“Yeah, that’s what I was going to say too. I’m glad we’re on the same page. I gotta go now Pete, bye!” Instantaneously, Patrick had left Pete’s front door and was in his car, hurriedly driving away.  
Patrick looked behind him in his rear view mirror, seeing a confused Pete looking out on the streets of his suburb.

Time had never gone so slow before in Patrick’s life, and that was saying something. He felt so naive, did he really expect Pete to just declare his love for Patrick on the spot? He arrived at his apartment, after what seemed like hours of holding a tear-soaked wheel, he grabbed his computer to type out the latest update to his shitty situation, seeing comments from his latest blog-post.

_“Im not the best at advice, but good luck anyway!”_

_“if you only recently found out, hold off on it for a little while, just to see what happens.”_

_“I’d recommend telling them, dude. It’s best to be as transparent as possible with someone you’re close with. Even if it’s serious.”_ That was the comment who inspired him to do this, great advice that was.  
Patrick typed out, _“Tried it just then. Didn’t work, they completely misunderstood me and interrupted my declaration of love I think they ended up realizing my true intentions. Thanks for nothing, whoever you are.”_ He hit send to his passive-aggressive comment and felt the sobs coming through his barrier of repression once again. Patrick pondered how the fuck he was going to perform in 3 different cities in 1 day with Pete constantly, thinking about him and his dazzling, genuine smile that crinkled to his eyes and all the way up to his forehead, when he was so genuinely happy.

 

It only took a comfortable armchair and Hemingway for Pete to start rethinking Patrick’s words and how weird all this was. Patrick hadn’t just tried admitting his love, hadn’t he? It was impossible, especially after everything they had gone through. It would explain how quickly he left and his awkward behavior once opening the door. He didn’t mean to cut Patrick off, and now he wishes he heard those three words escape his mouth. His fantasies of him and Patrick being together were temporarily put on hold with the quarrel between the two, but soon after it calmed down, they had started becoming more and more prevalent.

Pete picked up his sidekick, dialing the fresh number in his phone. Hoping for it to pick up.

“Hey, Noah? This is Pete.” Pete explained.

“Oh, hey Pete, uh, what’s up?” Noah was obviously somewhat confused about why Pete was calling, Pete would be, too.

“So. I think my best friend just tried to confess his love to me.” Pete stated plainly, he continued. “Only problem is I interrupted them half-way with a complete contradiction of what he just said.”

“Damn, just like in the movies. Well, Pete. The important thing here is, do you love him?” Noah quizzed.

“Uh, I think I do… for a while now, I don’t know why the hell I messed it all up.” Pete felt his eyes prickle.

“Don’t worry, there’s a way you can fix this… you got anything special coming up soon?” Noah asked.

It was at this moment that Pete had an idea, it might not have been the smartest idea and had a 99.99 chance of failing, but Pete was always the spontaneous, hopeless romantic, and it seemed things weren’t changing anytime soon. 

“I do, actually! Okay. I think I’ve got an idea now… Can I give you a ticket for my show in LA on Tuesday, oh, and something else?” 

“Sure, I’m looking forward to it, seeya then, Pete.” Pete could practically hear Noah’s grin.

Pete sat up and gathered what he needed, most importantly his thoughts.


	7. baby blues for wide-eyed browns

This was it, huh.

Patrick stared at the vastness of Times Square and the stage, barricades circling the streets. It seemed even in the morning, New York had this magical aura that convinced you that you could be whatever you wanted to be and do whatever you wanted to do. Which, in Patrick’s unfortunate case, was Pete.

Patrick sighed, picking up his guitar case and hesitantly walking to the metal steps, leading to the stage. Cords were in an orderly disarray with an ample amount of instruments on guitar racks. Patrick looked up to see Andy’s familiar face, flashing him a reassuring smile.

“Hey Patrick, how are you? You’ll be great today, don’t worry.” Andy said.

“Thanks man, yeah, I’m alright. I am pretty nervous.” Patrick did his signature sheepish smile, the type he had been doing a lot more frequently these past two months. 

Andy looked concerned, “Are you sure everything’s all good? These last few practices you’ve been really distant, that’s all.” Patrick should’ve learnt to not under-estimate Andy’s scary-attention-to-detail when it came to his band members. He always seemed to know if something was up.

“Yeah, I should be okay. If not, I’ll come to you, thanks Andy.” Andy came in for a hug, which Patrick graciously accepted. He needed to do this more often.

“Coming through,” An all-too-familiar voice stated, the two broke out of their hug as he let Pete past. “Didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

Andy looked at Patrick warmly, giving him a last goodbye and before Patrick knew it, he and Pete were alone. Fun.

“You’ll do killer out there this morning, and this afternoon, and tonight.” Pete stated, staring at Patrick with his warm brown eyes, Patrick had not long before decided on the exact colour. Not light enough to be milk chocolate, but not dark enough to be of the darker variety, perhaps a 60% dark chocolate? Something like that.

Patrick snapped out of it, meekly looking down at Pete’s uncharacteristically hurried appearance. 

Patrick meekly responded, “Uh thanks, you too.” But just before Patrick started to leave to have a quick conversation with the mic guy, Pete grabbed his arm and said,

“Check your guitar case before you go on stage, I thought I heard something snap.” And not even a second after Pete finished the sentence, he vanished. Patrick did a double take, suddenly worried about the state of his (expensive) guitar. Patrick bent down to pick up his case, fiddling with the latches to get it open.

Patrick saw at the bottom of his velvet-lined case after picking up his guitar and placing it down, a note, the hand-writing scrawled on haphazardly.

_“i’m half doomed, and you’re semi sweet. you’ll find the next of me where we grew up, hopefully.”_ Patrick gazed at the note in confusion, wondering what it meant. Did Pete put it there? It wouldn’t have been possible. He was with Pete the entire time he could’ve had the chance to slip the note through. He was brought out of his spell of perplexion by Joe yelling at him to start getting ready.

He knew this feeling all too well, the sinking in his stomach and his heart beating incredibly deep and fast, it almost over-powered the sound of fans waiting for him to put on the best show he could, with no mistakes. He always seemed to go through a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts before he went on the stage. Patrick wondered if anyone was really considering him to be “The living antonym of what any lead singer should be”, as that gossip site stated. His insides crawled around his abdomen, praying to whatever gods or goddesses out there to help him not make any noticeable mistakes. The last thing he needs is to fall on the debut of their biggest and most highly anticipated album yet.

The rush of walking onto stage filled Patrick with copious amounts of adrenaline. The fans seemed pretty excited, which was a bonus (especially considering it was 8.30 in the morning). He saw some fans near the barricade holding up a bunch of Infinity On High CDs, Patrick wondered how they’d gotten them so early in the morning.   
Pete started to introduce the band in his mic, presenting their first song, Thriller. It was the opening song of the album and though they couldn’t get Jay Z to perform at any of their shows today, the air was full of positive energy and Patrick felt as if he could maybe kinda relax a tiny amount.

 

Pete stared off into the crowd, letting Saturday’s last notes ring through the amplifiers. The crowd practically bellowed, and Pete smiled, breathing heavily with his bass raised up in his hands. The band left Times Square what seemed almost instantly, and it all really was a blur until Pete finally boarded their flight to Chicago, they really couldn’t afford to miss it, especially since their next show was in just over 5 hours, he hoped there wouldn’t be any delays.

The band left the airport, glad that the flight landed earlier than expected. The four talked about getting something to eat and decided to quickly just go to a stand in downtown Chicago. Patrick was looking around at the skyscrapers, reminiscing to when the band did their first show in a stingy bar not too far away from the heart of Chicago complete with its abundance of skyscrapers. Patrick was so nervous he almost threw up, which Joe thought was pretty hilarious. He then realised Pete was actually trying to talk to him, handing him a piece of paper.

“Trick! This fell out of your jacket pocket.” He gave him a toothy grin and ran to catch up with Andy, who was at the front of the group, finishing his vegan burrito. Patrick slowed his pace down to open and read the paper which said:

_“i wanna scream i love you from the top of my lungs, but i’m afraid that someone else will hear me. you’ll find out what’s next, eventually (in the city of angels) x”_ Patrick looked up at Pete, absolutely sure that it was him now. But before he could do anything about it, everyone had finished eating and the band was quickly entering a car.

“Patrick! Hurry the fuck up! This is a no parking zone, if they catch us, the fines on you!” Joe laughed, gesturing at him quickly. Patrick jogged towards the car and shut the door, laughing along, quickly rushing off to their next venue.

Patrick tried convincing himself that this show would be easier. It had to be, right? But with all that was going on in his head right now he wasn’t 100 percent sure. It felt like his brain would explode at any moment. Nevertheless, he smiled at Andy and gave him a thumbs up, ready for another round of excited fans and his music putting a sharp ringing in his ears.

“What the fuck is up Chicago!” Pete screamed into the microphone, yells bounded back towards the stage, Patrick swear he heard a “I fucking love you, Joe!” at some point, he smiled. 

“We’re super fucking excited to be back in our home-town,” Pete looked at Patrick and smiled, “We hope you like our newest record! It was a lot of fun to make, and I’m sure it’ll be even more fun playing some of those songs to you lovely bastards!” The crowd seemed even more excited than everyone at Times Square. The band quickly launched into its first song “Fashion Sense” (to put it more simply) with Patrick packing a punch with his first line.

Pete stared at Patrick, examining his nervous yet integral role to the show. Patrick was never great with his nerves, but Patrick seemed more relaxed now that he’d basically did the same set hours before. It didn’t take long for Pete to start walking over to Patrick, leaning his head on Patrick’s shoulder. He smiled as he closed his eyes and suddenly wished that this moment would last forever. Pete knew he had to pull away at some point, so he lifted his head and looked at Patrick, who was smiling at him. He couldn’t help thinking that that damned smile was going to make what he would do soon a whole lot easier. And as the show concluded, Pete felt more alive than he had felt in what seemed months.

“Guys! That was fucking amazing!” Andy cheered, slapping them all on the back. He had this bright smile that went all the way up to his eyes.

Joe was fidgeting with a pick in his hand, obviously still hyped from the adrenaline rush he experienced moments before. “Yeah it was pretty fucking great, the crowd loved it.” Joe turned his attention to Pete, “And you! My hands are still sticky from you choosing to lick my guitar, where’s the nearest sink?!” Patrick laughed airily, obviously pleased with how the show went.

“You’re welcome Trohman!” Pete called, “You should be blessed to have my spit on your hands, if I’m honest.” Andy rolled his eyes.

“We should probably go get our stuff, unless you wanna miss our last flight.” Andy decided, “We don’t have all year, Joe!” 

 

Patrick yawned, sluggishly standing up to exit the relatively unfilled plane. He was very aware of his zombie-like resemblance, cursing himself out for taking a nap on the four-hour flight. He was sure his under-eye bags were as bad as Pete’s (including his smudged eyeliner), maybe even worse. With a travel pillow around his neck and suitcase in hand, he descended down the portable airport stairs and thought about the prospect of sleeping and how unusually amazing that sounded.

Pete downed the RedBull in hopes that it would make him feel somewhat more alive. Joe was opposite of him, already on his second can. Andy stared at him in astonishment. 

“I’m assuming you’re bringing your phone on stage with you?” He questioned.

Joe looked to his side. “And why exactly would I need to do that?” He asked, the caffeine seemingly already affecting his sleep-deprived body.

“When you drop to the ground after having a heart attack from a caffeine overdose, Joseph. Someone’s going to have to call an ambulance, and it sure as hell isn’t you.” Patrick snickered at Andy’s response. 

“Oh, hardy har.” Joe mock laughed, “I’ll be spinning around the whole stage while you, Mr. Hurley, will be falling asleep on your drum set, so who’s the real winner here?”  
Pete smiled, feeling as if the band was closer than ever, he liked this.

 

Pete spent the entire half of the show practically dying of anxiousness. He needed his plan to work, but he could barely think with his mind racing and the fans yelling at the top of their lungs. He felt his pocket for the glow-stick he would use as a signal, relieved it hadn’t fell out during his escapades around the stage. It was when their second-last song ended that the band was about to leave for the encore. Pete saw the glow-stick fall to the ground, he quickly picked it up and shoved it in his pocket. He’d scream if the fucking wind blew it off or something. He blew kisses and left the stage to a curious Joe.

“What was that for?” Joe asked, out of breath. 

“Oh, I dropped something.” Pete stated, smiling. It wasn’t long after this that the fans started to scream “ONE LAST SONG!” rhythmically. The band left the wings and ran onto the stage. Pete grabbed the mic.

“Fuck yeah LA! Our last song for tonight is a bonus record for our newest album. You might or might not have heard it, depending if you got it earlier today.” He paused. “It’s called G.I.N.A.S.F.S, which stands for ‘Gay Is Not A Synonym For Shitty’. Which is fucking true! I say embrace whoever the fuck you are, you’re a dude who loves guys? That’s cool, you’re a girl who loves girls? That’s cool also! You’re a person who loves everyone? Good on you! Fuck anyone who’d say anything about who and what you love!” Pete smiled as the crowd erupted into cheers, and a split second after he finished, Joe started his riff.

Pete never felt more alive, Patrick’s voice sounded even more powerful and hard-hitting, he never really heard him sing this song, especially like this. He looked back on Andy, who was concentrating on his drumming. Joe was head-banging. The crowd was jumping up and down on time and just after Patrick finished his last line, he looked ahead to see a massive sign being held by something awfully familiar. It said, “LOOK TO YOUR RIGHT!”.

Patrick turned to his right to see Pete, inches away from his face. Pete smiled, the lights shining over him. Patrick was suddenly aware of Pete and everything about him, his eyes, his cheekbones, even his sharp cupids bow, painfully aware of the feeling of his face flushing. It wasn’t long after that that Patrick suddenly felt a shift between the two and was surprised to find that Pete was kissing him, needily, almost as if he needed Patrick to breathe, a source of oxygen. Patrick felt Pete’s lip quiver just before he kissed back, the two had never felt anything so right. Pete smelt an awful lot like shitty men’s cologne, but Patrick didn’t mind. The only reason they stopped was to breathe. And they finally tuned back into their surroundings. Hearing explosive screams through-out the venue. It’s like they’d never heard anything louder. Patrick looked at Andy, who reassuringly smiled at Patrick and gave him the thumbs up, Joe’s mouth was open after witnessing this somewhat unexpected scene.  
Pete grabbed Patrick’s microphone and practically shrieked, “Thank you, City of Angels!” Pete felt a warm buzz erupt through his body and course through his veins. Things were going to be okay.

 

Well, the last thing Patrick Stump was expecting to happen tonight was to see Pete Wentz on top of him, but life worked in mysterious ways. 

It seemed the whole concert was a dream and he finally woke up when he opened their hotel bedroom’s beige-coloured door. Thank god Pete and Patrick were paired up. Patrick’s bed remained untouched. They’d barely gotten half their clothes off when Patrick started to worry, he’d never even been in a sexual situation with a guy before… what was he going to do?  
Pete stopped kissing Patrick’s neck, to his dismay, and looked at Patrick warmly.

“Patrick, have you ever actually seen a dick before that wasn’t your own, in a sexual situation?” He questioned.

“Uh, well, I mean there was this one time I saw a twisty that was kinda shaped like a dick, balls and all.”

“You’re joking, right?” Pete laughed.

“I’m completely serious! I wish I took a photo of it, it really was something to behold.”

“God you’re a fucking dork.” Pete whispered, continuing to nibble on Patrick’s neck.

“Sorry for the hickey you’ll get tomorrow.” He smirked. 

“Who else to blame for it?” Patrick responded, and for the first time in forever, he’d felt he didn’t need to give a fuck what everyone else thought about him, as long as Pete was there with him; things were going to be okay. Thank god for that shitty LiveJournal confession.


	8. folie a deux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you all enjoyed this series!! heres a nice gif i think definitely inspired me <3 https://66.media.tumblr.com/caa4d990b6b2884981b49f086aab4880/tumblr_pftuuejdCs1ukzu6jo1_r1_400.gif

pete wentz (petewentz) wrote,  
2007-02-8 09:12:00

## the madness of two.

so, anyone who has a semi decent internet connection and/or a subscription to a gossip rag will know that these past couple of weeks have been interesting, to say the least.

it all started with that blog post. (which i guess in the long run helped me). you all know what im talking about. im gay for patrick stump yada yada, which i guess i can now confirm as true. so, thanks to the person who wrote that, whether you were a celebrity “journalist” under a dry-spell, a yaoi obsessed fall out boy fan or some random person who just really hates me. thanks. you sounded a fuck ton like me (though i barely type with caps and im shitty with apostrophes, so theres a discrepancy, for future reference, of course). 

i know this whole post has so far contradicted everything ive said recently, but i was afraid. it suddenly seemed like this world had turned upside down, like in the truman show, i suppose (disregarding the fact that the whole world doesn’t seem to revolve around me, shocking, i know). it didn’t take too long after that post went viral for me to realize that dating patrick was surprisingly quite similar to just being friends with him, i guess i always had a little thing for him, whether i recognized it or not. no matter how much i tried to ignore it, it never seemed to go away.

if i have any advice out there for anyone, it would be to stick up for who you are and what you believe in. you deserve the right to be unapologetically you. fuck everyone who says any different. these past few weeks have taught me some important life lessons, some id never trade for the world and though i still have a lot of growing up to do (obviously) i believe ive changed for good, and that it will hopefully help make me a better person and treat others and ultimately myself a better way. who knows what will happen in the future?

personally, id like to thank a few people who have made these past few weeks (considering both the album launch and my personal life) just a bit more bearable. thanks, andy and joe for being great guys to talk to and make music with, you’re a bunch of legends. thanks to our band manager, doug for setting up countless interviews and probably suffering from tremendous amounts of headaches from damage equipment costs and such. thanks also to noah, for helping me realize a couple of things and being a part of my biggest win yet.

lastly, i wanna thank patrick martin stump, (aka: trick or lunchbox, which as of now, is my new nickname for you) the man, the myth, the legend. you arent some anti-social, unattractive lead singer of some emo band. youre the person who brings a sense of meaning to so many peoples lives, youre the man whose face i cant get enough of, your sheepish grin will always be the death of me (and you cant say otherwise!). youre an inspiration to all, showing you dont have to be some crazy, extroverted, party machine douchelord (aka, me) to be a lead-singer of a semi-famous band. many people look up to you for your warm personality and want to make others happy, you can bring just a bit of yourself to this whole world and it’ll become drastically brighter. trust me. as cheesy as it sounds (what, i cant help being a hopeless romantic) you’re a literal embodiment of sunshine, and as you lay asleep next to me, i have proof of it.

oh, and to all those people who said patrick and i being together would ruin the band… uh, sorry (but not really), i guess you can go listen to panic at the disco or the academy is or whatever now, im sure those dudes would be happy to have you. (unless brendon decides you’re a douche for ditching us because one half of the band is in a gay relationship, which im sure he would be, so would will, oh well, have fun!) thanks to everyone who has come around, whether its been since our first few shows or yesterday, it means the world to all of us. we’ve got something pretty special brewing up soon, i guess you’ll have to all see eventually. i should probably shut up now, half of you probably left a quarter of the way through this post. live like yourself, as theres no other real way to do it.

pete xx


End file.
